A Time To Hear
Counselor CV (if you know her, good; if not, sorry) once told me people were classified under 3 "categories" - visual, auditory, or kinesthetic. She said, people are usually a mix of the 3 but with one trait more dominant that the others. I am more of a visual person - I like to see beautiful people and things; I'd like to see them talk, to watch and to observe. I would say running second would be kinesthetic - I am a hugging person, touchy-feely but only to those I know and care for. I don't like people touching me and crowding my space. Auditory comes in last. Mom has told me that I have selective hearing - absorbing only those I want to hear and conveniently letting go of those that don't suit my liking.
The past few months though, my auditory sense has been used more that usual. Of course it all started when I had to hear the words I didn't want to hear - "We're different and maybe it’s best for us to part." Automatically selective hearing kicked in and this sentence just boomeranged off my ears. I had to force myself to listen and face my new reality. It's been taking me a few weeks but my ears are finally opening.
Since all my family and friends that matter are far away from me, the only thing that kept me going was hearing their voices on the other end of the telephone. Talking about this was a cathartic process for me. Consequently, hearing their opinion was soothing. Hearing them say, "Things are going to be ok," "There is nothing wrong with you," and "I will keep you in my prayers," were the hugs and kisses that I needed. All of a sudden I was longing to hear their voices. I was longing to hear my phone ring.
Driving home from work has (and still is but only rarely now) the toughest part of my day. The long commute without my usual partner to keep me company makes the silence even more deafening. So now, I've turned to Mary J (Blige), Mariah (Carey), India (Arie), Beyonce, Andrea (Bocelli), and many more. Just as quickly, I've somehow attracted the songs that are speaking my heart. Mary J says, "Don’t' give up." Mariah says, "Come back." India says, "No matter what, you are beautiful." Beyonce reminds me that I am an independent woman. Andrea prays Ave Maria with me.
I've loved music. It's been there in my life. There was a time in my life though, that I never really paid attention. I remember there was I time I was looking for music, but I couldn't find it. It was only when Ricky came into my life that my interest in music sparked once again. He lives music. I've never seen a person go to bed with the music still playing, and would let the music play on until all five discs played through. Funny how one person can change everything.
I learned that I love old school - Motown, Blues and R&B. I'll listen to Elle Fitzgerald, Smokey Robinson, Marvin Gaye, Barry White, The Isley Brothers, Aretha Franklin, and Chaka Khan - the old school folk - when songs were telling good stories. I'll also listen to Will Downing, Kirk Franklin, Donnie McClurkin, Prince, and Stevie Wonder. It was wonderful to be immersed in this wonderland of music.
This week I bought myself a copy of India.Aries's new CD Testimony: Vol 1, Life and Relationship. Couldn't believe I bought a CD the first week it dropped! Jeez! But it is so worth it. My girl India is speaking my heart again. Forgiveness is what she is telling me. I'm with you India.....
And still I have not stopped my auditory from working. When I go to church I pray and I listen. Even when I was denying it, I knew God was speaking to me. It finally hit me one day. And I am grateful He did not stop speaking to me. He reminded me, courtesy of Fr. Huy, that He is always there for me. The next day my Didache reading simply stated - let go and let God. So I lifted up my heart to God again. Almost instantaneously, I felt free. There was a break in the clouds. I know the clouds are still there, but they no longer cover all my skies. So far, so good.
My friends are still there, and more have been reconnected. One made me think once again of the basic difference between man and woman. She said the Bible directs Husband to LOVE his Wife and Wife to RESPECT their Husbands. She goes on to say these are the things that are not easy to do. Men can easily respect a person but find it hard to love. We women are nurturing creatures and therefore find it easier to love another, but we only give respect sparingly. My ears are wide open.
Then one day last week, somebody simply stated, "All this that happened, was not of your doing." It hit me. It hit me hard. It hit me so hard, I started crying. I guess it was time for me to hear that.
The past few months though, my auditory sense has been used more that usual. Of course it all started when I had to hear the words I didn't want to hear - "We're different and maybe it’s best for us to part." Automatically selective hearing kicked in and this sentence just boomeranged off my ears. I had to force myself to listen and face my new reality. It's been taking me a few weeks but my ears are finally opening.
Since all my family and friends that matter are far away from me, the only thing that kept me going was hearing their voices on the other end of the telephone. Talking about this was a cathartic process for me. Consequently, hearing their opinion was soothing. Hearing them say, "Things are going to be ok," "There is nothing wrong with you," and "I will keep you in my prayers," were the hugs and kisses that I needed. All of a sudden I was longing to hear their voices. I was longing to hear my phone ring.
Driving home from work has (and still is but only rarely now) the toughest part of my day. The long commute without my usual partner to keep me company makes the silence even more deafening. So now, I've turned to Mary J (Blige), Mariah (Carey), India (Arie), Beyonce, Andrea (Bocelli), and many more. Just as quickly, I've somehow attracted the songs that are speaking my heart. Mary J says, "Don’t' give up." Mariah says, "Come back." India says, "No matter what, you are beautiful." Beyonce reminds me that I am an independent woman. Andrea prays Ave Maria with me.
I've loved music. It's been there in my life. There was a time in my life though, that I never really paid attention. I remember there was I time I was looking for music, but I couldn't find it. It was only when Ricky came into my life that my interest in music sparked once again. He lives music. I've never seen a person go to bed with the music still playing, and would let the music play on until all five discs played through. Funny how one person can change everything.
I learned that I love old school - Motown, Blues and R&B. I'll listen to Elle Fitzgerald, Smokey Robinson, Marvin Gaye, Barry White, The Isley Brothers, Aretha Franklin, and Chaka Khan - the old school folk - when songs were telling good stories. I'll also listen to Will Downing, Kirk Franklin, Donnie McClurkin, Prince, and Stevie Wonder. It was wonderful to be immersed in this wonderland of music.
This week I bought myself a copy of India.Aries's new CD Testimony: Vol 1, Life and Relationship. Couldn't believe I bought a CD the first week it dropped! Jeez! But it is so worth it. My girl India is speaking my heart again. Forgiveness is what she is telling me. I'm with you India.....
And still I have not stopped my auditory from working. When I go to church I pray and I listen. Even when I was denying it, I knew God was speaking to me. It finally hit me one day. And I am grateful He did not stop speaking to me. He reminded me, courtesy of Fr. Huy, that He is always there for me. The next day my Didache reading simply stated - let go and let God. So I lifted up my heart to God again. Almost instantaneously, I felt free. There was a break in the clouds. I know the clouds are still there, but they no longer cover all my skies. So far, so good.
My friends are still there, and more have been reconnected. One made me think once again of the basic difference between man and woman. She said the Bible directs Husband to LOVE his Wife and Wife to RESPECT their Husbands. She goes on to say these are the things that are not easy to do. Men can easily respect a person but find it hard to love. We women are nurturing creatures and therefore find it easier to love another, but we only give respect sparingly. My ears are wide open.
Then one day last week, somebody simply stated, "All this that happened, was not of your doing." It hit me. It hit me hard. It hit me so hard, I started crying. I guess it was time for me to hear that.
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