Solo Traveler on a Solo Journey

I'm a solo traveler once again. I write this on a plane going back to Manila. Being solo is not my choice. About 2 months ago I found myself single and unattached once again. Sometimes you just have to take what life dishes out. Bitter as the pill may be, sometimes you just have to swallow to move on.

Lately, I've been questioning if I can be a solo traveler again. How I miss sharing my life with someone! I miss wishing someone a 'Good day!' in the morning. I miss grocery shopping together. I miss having someone to confide in when the good, bad, and funny happen to me. I miss having prayer time together at night. I miss cruising the city with someone.

Yet, I am amazed at how God continues to wake me up everyday. I'm even more astonished at how much courage He gives me that enables me to live my life day by day; how much encouragement He throws my way that I keep placing one foot in front of the other to keep on keeping on.

I've been a solo traveler before, so this should be a piece of cake, like riding a bike again. It should all come back to me in a snap. Somehow I find that untrue. It's been quite a struggle for me getting back on my feet solo. Is it because it was 3 long years of togetherness? Is it because the 3 years seemed so right? Or is it because he still has my heart?

An old friend once told me when I was in a similar situation years ago, "You have to put that person in a special place in your heart and move on." I've intended to just that, but found it quite difficult. I've realized there is no place in my heart to put him. He's got my heart - all of it.

Then I am reminded of why I am a solo traveler again. If my needs aren't met, maybe I am better off solo. As a solo traveler, I am free to do what I want, when, and how I want to. Life gets a little less complicated this way. Being solo forced me to look deeper within me - discover and re-discover Me. I haven't stopped writing, but now I have more time to write. I haven't stopped learning, but now I can focus on what matters most. Because of these realizations, being solo has given me inner peace, and in turn, joy, and consequently, a lot of hope.

As the plane begins its descent, I am looking forward to what the future reveals. I am eager to keep treading the life God has planned for me. I am excited to meet someone bigger, better, and brighter. As I sit here on this plane, I dream of my next journey somewhere around the world with someone by my side.

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